


For the First Time

by totalnovaktrash



Series: A Different Story [16]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Original Character(s), a back story of sorts, clearly I can't tag for my life, doesn't end very shippy, it starts very shippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:10:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totalnovaktrash/pseuds/totalnovaktrash
Summary: A list of firsts in the Lilith!verse





	

The first time the Doctor knew he loved Rose Tyler, they were in a basement in Cardiff. 

Of all the places for the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm, to die, it had to be a  _ basement _ in  _ Cardiff _ . 

The Gelth were getting closer, reaching through the bars. She was asking him, begging him, to tell her they she couldn't die decades before she was even born. 

But what bothers him the most isn't that he doesn't want to die. 

It isn't that he doesn't want his niece (who is broadcasting more sadness than fear, which is admittedly quite strange considering the situation) to die.

It's that he doesn't want this stranger, this girl he barely knew, to die. 

“ _ I'm so glad I met you." _

* * *

The first time the Doctor tells Rose Tyler how much he cares, they're locked in the cabinet room in 10 Downing Street.

It's him, Lilith, Rose, and Harriet Jones (where  _ does _ he know that name from?) against a family of Racicoricofallapatorian criminals. Well, they've got Rickey and Jackie on the phone, but neither of them are being particularly helpful. 

There's a way out, he knows it. That doesn't mean he has to like it. Could he really snuff out the life of this girl, this precious girl, to save everyone else?

He wants to tell her outright, so he tells her the only way he can. 

“ _ I could save the world but lose you. _ ”

* * *

The first time anyone uses the word love, they're in a bunker underneath Utah and it's a damned Dalek who says it.

Just moments ago, it was all despair and loss and Lilith slamming that pretty boy against the wall for leaving Rose Tyler to her death. Her death that was technically caused by the Doctor himself. 

But then the screen turned on and there was relief and hope and  _ thank Rassilon she's alive _ . She tries to make a joke, then tells him not to let the Dalek out, even if it means her death. 

She's brave and selfless and he loves her for it. 

“ **_What use are emotions if you cannot save the woman you love?_ ** ”

* * *

The first time Rose Tyler realizes that she loves the Doctor, he's gone.

It's 1985 and she has royally screwed up. Her father is alive, but the Doctor is dead. It takes a moment to really hit her. The Doctor is dead,  _ dead,  _ and she never told him she loves him. 

Oh my god, she loves him. 

She can't even process what Lilith had shouted just before the Reaper swallowed him because there's a gaping hole in her chest and he  _ died not knowing _ . 

She almost doesn't go to her dying father because of the crippling relief when she hears his voice again. 

“ _ Go to him. Quick. _ ”

* * *

The first time the Doctor knows Rose Tyler loves him back, he has to forget because of Lilith and timelines.

All he had wanted to do was confront her about what she had let slip, about the lie that she had been telling him for almost eleven years. And the truth is far from what he expected. She's named after her grandmother and her last name is hyphenated. 

It's Tyler-Lungbarrow. 

She's temporally misplaced because he told her she needed to be and she's  _ his _ daughter. His and  _ Rose’s _ daughter. 

He only knows it's not unrequited because this young Time Lady tells him so. 

“ _ She does, you know. Even in this incarnation, she loves you. _ ”

* * *

The first time they kiss, it's the Doctor who initiates it even though it'll kill him and Rose won't remember anyway.

Jack is gone and he and Lilith are next. His niece (why didn't that seem right?) assures him that she has no regrets, but he does. Oh, does he have regrets. 

_ I never held her.  _

_ I never told her.  _

_ I never kissed her.  _

And then she appears again as a glowing goddess. She wipes the Daleks out of existence just to protect him. It's going to kill her if he doesn't do something. Fast. And although the kiss itself isn't strictly necessary, it's one less regret to die with. 

Except she'll never know it happened. And the lie he tells hurts just as much as the artron energy coursing through his body. He wants to die with one less regret, but he can't bring himself to make a dying declaration. So he says it in his own words while he can. 

“ _ You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. _ ”

* * *

The first time Rose Tyler kisses the Doctor, it's an entirely different man than the one she fell in love with.

It's Christmas and this Doctor is quite a bit different than she's used to. His ears are much smaller, his hair quite a bit larger, and there's a distinct lack of leather in his outfit. He's hyper and loud and animated when he talks. 

She's admittedly tipsy when it happens (he's not, damn Time Lord alcohol tolerance) and it only happens because he points out the mistletoe. She's not complaining, of course, about this kiss happening. If she's complaining about anything, it would be her mother interrupting before anything more than a chaste press of the lips occurs. 

New Years, of course, prompts a near make out session that Rose is quite pleased with. Lilith, less so. 

“ _ You two are _ sickening.  _ I’m going to get cavities just from living in the same timeship. _ ”

* * *

The first time they share a bed, it's mostly (if not only) about comfort.

He'd gotten the time right, but not the location. Not even close. London instead of New York, but he doesn't even try blaming the TARDIS this time because he knows it was because he was distracted by how breathtakingly beautiful Rose looked. Or maybe the TARDIS was being drawn towards London because of the Wire. 

The anger, the fury, the despair, the hate he felt when he saw his precious Rose faceless consumed everything else. The need to either obliterate this Wire or get his Rose back, or maybe both, is so intense that he forces Lilith to stay behind with Tommy. He doesn't want her to see him like that. 

But the joy, the pure joy he feels when he sees her grin back where it belongs, is just as consuming, if not more so. Both hearts want to jump out of his chest when he kisses her in the middle of the street with a passion that surprises them both. 

He pretends he doesn't notice Lilith noticing that he slips into Rose’s room that night when she asks him to. 

“ _ Stay. Please. Just for tonight. _ ”

* * *

The first time Rose Tyler knows the Doctor loves her back, Lilith is reluctant to tell her, but let's her remember because it's something she needs to know.

It's only been a few hours since escaping Krop Tor when Lilith finds her in the library and tells her that they need to talk about Lilith, the future, and Rose’s relationship with the Doctor. 

Lilith tells her the truth. She's the Doctor’s daughter, not his niece, and she's not from Rose’s time. She going to leave eventually, even though she really doesn't want to. But Lilith doesn't mention anything about Rose and the Doctor’s relationship, so Rose asks who her mother is. 

Lilith doesn't technically give her the answer. 

“ _ You’re smart, Rose. Figure it out. _ ”

* * *

The first time Rose Tyler tells the Doctor she loves him, she's standing on a windy beach in Norway and he doesn't get to say it back.

“ _ Rose Tyler... _ ”

* * *

The first time the Doctor tells Rose Tyler he loves her, they're standing in knee high, red grass and their yet-to-be-born daughter is watching them with a very smug smirk.

He is  _ contemplating _ (read: brooding) in the Gallifrey room when Lilith appears for what she says will be the last time. She gives him an explanation for coming back into his timeline and tells him how she regenerated into a ginger. 

Then, of course, she drops the bombshell that she met him eight times prior to the Time War, picked up some technology, traveled across the Void, and brought him her mother. 

Her mother is Rose Tyler.  _ Rose Tyler is in his TARDIS again.  _

So he tells her he loves her and her response is the most beautiful thing in the universe. 

“ _ Oh, Doctor. My Doctor. I love you too. _ ”

* * *

The first time the Doctor calls her Rose Tyler-Lungbarrow, it's their wedding night.

They get married ten years after they're reunited and it's a whole ordeal. Rose asks Jack Harkness to be her maid of honor and the Doctor goes back to 2009 to ask Donna Noble to be his best man. 

He picks up Lilith from that point in time too, though that's more of an accident. 

(It's really not. He feels better knowing that there's someone to stand for him when they do the Gallifreyan bonding ceremony.)

Everyone is there to see it. Sarah Jane and Luke, Mickey and Martha, even Pete, Jackie, and Tony were brought to witness the event. 

The Doctor is sure that he had never been happier in his life than when Rose said those two words. 

“ _ I do. _ ”

* * *

The first time they slept together, it was a reunion shag.

The second time it was more of a ‘thank-the-gods-you're-alive-and-not-dead’ sort of thing after a particularly life threatening adventure. 

Then it becomes a regular activity. 

And the fact that it's a regular activity is what makes the confession at breakfast so nerve-wracking and it’s probably also why the Doctor nearly faints because “Rose, we've been shagging almost daily for twenty years, how are you only getting pregnant  _ now _ ?”

It's not until they can tell that the baby will be a girl that Rose realizes exactly who she is carrying in her womb. 

“ _ Lilithanadir Jaqueline Tyler-Lungbarrow. _ ”

* * *

The first time Rose Tyler looks at her first born child, she cries.

Lilith is born with blonde hair and eyes the same color as hers and Rose cries because the Lilith she first met had brown hair and freckles and eyes the color of chocolate. She doesn't want to know that her daughter is going to go through a regeneration. 

So she doesn't put up much of a fight at all when the Doctor modifies their memories to forget that Lilith traveled with them. She doesn't even ask when they'll get those memories back. 

The Doctor gets them back a few days after he regenerates into a floppy haired man with a bow tie obsession. 

Rose gets them back after Cwmtaff in the year 2020 when her daughter, her brave daughter who had given up her life to try and save their companion, walked out of the wardrobe room wearing a knee-length magenta dress and a denim jacket. 

The smile she wears is forced, though, and it reminds Rose of when she and the Doctor had to tell Lilith about her impending temporal misplacement. 

“ _ But you'll know who I am, won't you? It's not like I’ll be a stranger, right? _ ”

* * *

The first time the Doctor has to say goodbye to his daughter, he does his best not to cry.

He's leaving her in the perfectly capable hands of her godfather, but he doesn't want to let her go anyway because he  _ knows _ . 

The Lilith he's dropping off in Cardiff has a British accent (it's slight, but it's there). She doesn't know how to use a sonic blaster. She relies on the TARDIS to translate alien languages. She doesn't swear, in Gallifreyan or English. 

The Lilith that his Ninth self knew was nothing like the daughter he's saying goodbye to. He reminds her that she is loved before saying goodbye. 

“ _ I love you too, Dad. I'm ready. _ ”

* * *

It had been a very nice day for Rose Tyler-Lungbarrow.

Darkel had elected to spend the day with Luke and Rose had left the twins with Mickey while she and Martha met Sarah Jane for lunch. The Doctor was off with Clara, probably stirring up trouble, and Rose was content to have a relaxing day with her friends. 

That being said, she did ask Martha if she and Mickey could watch Nyx and Jamie for a while longer afterwards. It had been weeks since she last ran for her life and Rose was getting twitchy. 

The Doctor landed the TARDIS in the middle of the Smith’s living room and Rose opened the doors to tell her husband off for not landing the ship outside of the house like they had discussed. 

Except it wasn't her husband at the console. 

“ _ Hey, Mom. I'm home. _ ”

And for the first time in quite a long time, Rose’s family was complete.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who cares, the quotes at the end of each section that come from actual written stories are:
> 
> “I'm so glad I met you.”- Better With Three Chapter 6  
> “I could save the world but lose you.”- Better With Three Chapter 10  
> “What use are emotions if you cannot save the woman you love?”- Better With Three Chapter 12  
> “Go to him. Quick.”- Better With Three Chapter 16  
> “She does, you know. Even in this incarnation, she loves you.”- Better With Three Chapter 17  
> “You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.”- Better With Three Chapter 18  
> “You two are sickening. I’m going to get cavities just from living in the same timeship.”- The Stuff of Legends Chapter 3  
> “You’re smart, Rose. Figure it out.”- The Stuff of Legends Chapter 23  
> “Oh, Doctor. My Doctor. I love you too.”- Reunions  
> “I love you too, Dad. I'm ready.”- Better With Three Chapter 26


End file.
